Like thousands (if not millions) of other Americans, I struggle to make ends meet. I have a job that I enjoy and that pays me a decent salary and I’m able to pay my bills on time each month, but that status will only continue if nothing happens that requires a large outlay of cash – like something major needing replacement in my house or a serious illness or injury that keeps me off work for more days than I have vacation time to cover. (I do have short-term disability insurance at work, but that only pays 60% of my salary, and that’s not enough to cover my expenses.) I’m fine as long as nothing “bends nor breaks” (as my mother used to say), but beyond that – I’d be in serious financial trouble in short order.
I find myself compulsively checking my bank balance and credit card accounts online. I live in fear of being late on a credit card payment, because I know they’ll levy a big late-payment fee and jack my rate up to 30% if I’m even one day late. I plan my grocery shopping trips for weeks when I have a little extra left over in my paycheck. I buy generic foods and figure out what the cheapest thing is that I can cook at home, that will feed me for the longest time. I only eat out at a sit-down restaurant once every two or three months and usually only eat at fast-food places once every week or two (mostly when I run out of what I made at home).
As for going out for entertainment, that’s almost non-existent. I might go to a movie (matinee) every couple of months. Concerts and theatre events are perhaps a once-a-year treat, if not less often. Travel used to be a priority, but I haven’t been on a plane for at least three years, if not longer. I did travel by car to Las Vegas with a friend over two years ago, but it was a very long drive and would have been much more fun if we could have flown there in three hours instead of driving for 14 hours.
I’ve also curtailed the little luxuries I swore I’d treat myself to, just to feel a little bit pampered. For the past five years or so, I got a facial every couple of months, but I cut that out last summer – I just can’t justify letting go of the $70 on something that’s not essential. Having my nails done every two weeks has also gone by the wayside, but that’s not such a bad thing – I’m sort of enjoying having my natural nails back.
The one area I haven’t cut back on is home electronics. I bought myself a new computer a year ago because I do some freelance typesetting and web design, so I could justify the expense. And since I don’t go out for entertainment, I subscribed to satellite TV for the first time and bought a TiVo. However, I cut out the Netflix subscription that I had kept for nine years to help offset those costs.
I’m checking out all possible avenues of savings, like insurance and medications. I saved $30/month on car insurance and $100/year on homeowner’s insurance by switching companies. I’m also looking into refinancing my home, since interest rates are lower now. Ordering my regular medications three months at a time through my insurance’s mail order plan saved me $38/month, too.
But even with all those savings, cutbacks and a new job a couple of years ago that pays several thousand dollars more per year than I made previously, I’m still barely keeping my head above water. The balances on my credit cards don’t seem to shrink more than a few dollars a month, partly because if any unexpected expense comes along (and they always do), I have to pay for it with a card because it just isn’t in the budget.
The problem is that I just don’t have any financial elbow room, so I keep spinning my wheels and staying in the same place. If I could get some momentum going, then I could start to chop down on the credit card debt and maybe even put something in savings so I wouldn’t have to use a credit card for unexpected expenses. As it is, it’s so frustrating and discouraging – I can’t see a way out, and I’m afraid I’ll reach retirement age (not that I’ll actually be able to retire!) and still be in the same situation.
I know I’m not alone in this, especially with the current economic climate being what it is. I can’t help but wonder if the recent uptick in the incidence of people murdering their families and committing suicide is tied, at least in part, to their feelings of hopelessness over their financial situations. It seems that many people have completely lost their minds these days, and I fear for the state of this country if its population loses hope for the future.
I’m certainly not remotely at the point of suicide, but it’s a real grind to live like this, and it sucks a lot of the joy out of life to constantly be on the edge of financial instability, with fear for the future always in the back of my mind, adding extra mental “static” that subtly increases my stress level every day. I want positive change, and the sooner the better!
