That’s the advice a good friend gave me over 10 years ago, when we reconnected after about 25 years and started recounting the events that had happened in our lives during the intervening years. I’ve often thought about his words, and realized that they’re a fairly good mantra for living one’s life.
Being honest is important to me — to be honest myself, and for those around me to be honest in their dealings with me. For me, lying just takes too much effort to keep the stories straight. Which person did you tell what story to? After awhile it’s just too confusing, and almost impossible to pull off consistently enough to not get caught in the lie. Besides, you’re spending so much mental energy on the web of lies that you have little left over to accomplish anything positive. It’s just unnecessary “static” that gets in the way of living life. And that’s just the practical side of it — never mind that it degrades the person doing the lying, making them be less than they could be.
Not self-censoring is another positive attribute. I don’t mean that someone should spill every thought, good or bad, that flits across their mind — that’s not necessarily a good thing. The type of self-censoring I want to avoid is the holding in of true feelings that would be better off expressed. A person that always holds in their anger and doesn’t find a non-destructive way to vent it might well develop ulcers or migraines. Someone who is depressed may not eat properly (either eating too much or too little).
I want to live as my authentic self, and to share the story of my life — all aspects of it — with those few people I trust with that knowledge. Some people I can share certain aspects of my life with, but not others. I consider some of those people to be acquaintances or social friends. There are only a handful who know the real me, and those are my true friends — the people that I know will love and accept me, no matter what. Those are the people in my life that I truly cherish and appreciate in return.
Tags: relationships
The ultimate question that has no concrete evidence to serve as proof of its answer – what happens after we leave this physical existence we call life? I don’t know the answer any more than anyone else, but I do have an image of what it might be like — and the loss of three prominent figures in entertainment (Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett and, most shockingly, Michael Jackson) within the past week brings the topic to mind more than usual.
As I stated in a previous post, my spiritual beliefs are a mixture of my traditional Protestant upbringing and elements of Eastern religion, plus a generous splash of other philosophies for which I have no specific name.
A movie that captures some aspects of my vision of life after physical death is What Dreams May Come (starring Robin Williams). In it, the afterlife is pictured as a place with hyper-vibrant colors, favorite locations and people who love us. Travel is accomplished by merely thinking of where you want to be. Our appearance can change at will to reflect our desire or purpose at the moment. It’s an interesting vision of what could be, and the movie is a wonderful love story, as well.
Another more comprehensive view of the afterlife is given in two books by Stewart Edward White — The Betty Book, in which White’s wife Betty relates information from the “other side” as a trance medium, and The Unobstructed Universe, written after Betty’s death, in which another trance medium relays Betty’s stories to her husband from her new perspective in the afterlife. Both are fascinating reading, and give one much to consider.
Those two books resonate so clearly with my own thoughts and desires as to what lies ahead of us after our life on this earth is done. I dearly hope Betty’s reports are what it’s actually like, because it sounds like such a busy place where we can grow and learn so much more than we can in our earthly bodies, where we are limited by our human minds and physical senses.
I see earthly life as a classroom, where we agree to come before we’re actually born into our human life. I think some lessons are more easily taught in earthly form than in the spirit life, and that’s why we choose to come here.
The difficult circumstances we encounter here are perhaps our best teachers. For example, one person may have been horribly burned, but their spirit and determination to live a fulfilling and joyous life in spite of their suffering and disfigurement. They may devote their life to helping others with the same affliction. Another person may have experienced the same condition, but constantly bemoan their fate and become bitter and hateful. They may even take their own life because the burden of their life is too great for them to bear.
I would say that the first person took the lesson and passed the test, and the second may need to repeat the lesson, perhaps in another life, before they truly “get it” and can go on to learn other lessons. It is our reaction to our circumstances that is the measure of how well we are learning the lessons.
I’m sure each of us knows someone who has endured great trials — physically, emotionally, financially, or otherwise — and handled it with grace and fortitude. I’m sure we can also think of someone who constantly complains about their lot in life. Have you ever wondered why some people have a “golden touch” and everything comes easily to them, while others toil and sweat, and never seem to get ahead? Perhaps one is learning how to handle success without becoming prideful, and the other is learning how to deal with failure without giving up — each of those lessons can be as difficult as the other!
I think we use the time between earthly lives to analyze our earthly experiences and “digest” the things we’ve learned here. I believe there is a “life review” that we go through — not a judgment, but an analysis from a higher vantage point of the events of our lives, and our reaction to them. Then we can make plans to go over the lesson again, or move on to another subject.
I believe our ultimate goal is to reach unity with our Creator, and with each lesson we learn, we come a little closer to that goal. Some spirits are great shining lights and others are little twinkling stars who may some day become shining beacons in their own right. Some may stubbornly refuse to learn their lessons, and make excruciatingly slow progress. It’s up to us how fast or slow we progress.
I don’t know what’s ahead for me, but I hope I’ve been a decent student in this life. I admit to being curious as to what’s on the other side, and although I’m not looking forward to the process of dying, the concept of death itself doesn’t scare me nearly as much as did in years past.
Tags: life after death, religion, spirituality
First of all, a disclaimer – although I was raised as a Southern Baptist, my thoughts and beliefs are not based on any particular religious dogma. I am, in fact, leery of all organized religion because I see it as a man-made construct that is all too often used to wield power over the masses and enrich its leaders. Historically, more wars have been fought over ideological conflicts than any other cause, and those battles have brought death and suffering to untold millions of people throughout the ages.
I am, for all intents and purposes, done with religion in my life. Spirituality, however, is a different matter – and quite a different subject, as I regard it.
The foundation of my spiritual house is love, which can be expressed in many ways – love for a life partner, parents, children and friends; compassion toward our fellow man; generosity in the sharing of our resources; kindness to animals; respect for the environment. Love radiates outward from the core of our being like ripples in a pond, affecting everything around us to one degree or another.
The maxim that coexists with this foundation of love – the thing that puts feet to the feeling – is the Golden Rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Such a simple thing, really, but so many times our egos get in the way of the implementation of this basic tenet. I ask you – how much better off would the world be if everyone in it subscribed to that handful of words? There would be a vast improvement almost immediately, I’d imagine. However, with human nature being as it is, I don’t hold out much hope for that outcome anytime soon, if ever.
The “devil” in my spiritual world is selfishness. It’s so easy to care only for ourselves and our comfort, without regard for the consequences of our self-centeredness. We want, we need, we like, we desire – we, we, we – as if WE were the center of the universe, instead of the one-in-seven-billion people on the planet. What gives us the right to put ourselves over others? What about their rights and desires? We are all one people, whether we realize it or not. We are voyagers on this spaceship called Earth, and if we are to survive the journey in any reasonable fashion, we had better realize it – and the sooner, the better.
I’ve had an interest in metaphysical subjects from an early age, although I didn’t really know that term at the time. All things psychic, paranormal, astrological or in some way “out there” held a great fascination for me. Having had a couple of psychic incidents as a child (astral projection and seeing my uncle’s ghost) made me curious to learn what else was going on that was outside of our everyday experience.
One of the events that finally set my mind free of my religious upbringing is a non-Western religion class I took in college. I had gone back to finish my degree as an adult 20+ years after I began. I’m very grateful to have taken this class (and others) later in life, because my adult perspective and life experiences made me appreciate and comprehend the fullness of it as I never would have as a youngster.
The current state of my spiritual beliefs is a synthesis of my Baptist upbringing, Buddhist principles and metaphysical aspects. I believe we are spiritual beings currently having an earthly experience. I believe there is a guiding force in the universe (call it the Great Spirit, God, or whatever word of your choosing). I believe in the principles of love, the Golden Rule and kindness to others. I believe in karma and in the spiritual balance of the universe. I believe there is a non-physical realm that exists, even though we can’t perceive it with our physical senses. I believe our spirit continues far beyond this earthly life. I believe great adventures are waiting for us that we can’t even imagine.
In short – I believe.
Tags: religion, spirituality
When I watch the news these days, I don’t even recognize my country. Daily, new policies and new edicts from the White House appear to be systematically dismantling the country I grew up in. I feel disenfranchised, pushed out of my American home and lifestyle. Frankly, I feel betrayed by our leadership and appalled that others in our legislative branch have done so little to oppose the changes. My country is dissolving before my eyes into a putrid mess.
The changes are coming fast and furious, and I really believe that’s the strategy — overwhelm people with so many issues that no one can concentrate on any one specific thing. Then they push legislation through, using scary words like “catastrophic” and “urgent” to motivate people to panic and act quickly without thinking ahead to future consequences, because they’re convinced the economy will collapse completely without immediate action. I think long and hard about a $100 purchase, but they decide to spend a trillion dollars in a month’s time? Ridiculous! Foolish! Wasteful!
That’s exactly how we managed to spend over a trillion dollars in the blink of an eye, without a firm plan for its use and a tight grip on the wallet to prevent its misuse. Just one example: billions of our tax dollars were wasted, given to GM because they were “too big to fail.” And yet just a few months later, here we are — GM filed for bankruptcy anyway. Where did all that money go? And that’s just a small example of the waste we’re all paying for.
What I can’t figure out is why they’re doing this. Why would the leaders of the US want to undermine the structure that has made us a world leader for over 200 years now? Why radically change something that isn’t broken and replace it with a system that has been demonstrated in other countries to either not work at all, or not work satisfactorily?
Don’t they realize that the things they do will affect them, as well? Or do they think they can operate outside of the new rules, just because they’re the ones who made them? Apparently the Obamas do — what about the unannounced flyover of New York City by Air Force One for a “photo op”? Millions of dollars spent there, plus frightening the local people out of their wits because they thought it was another terrorist attack. Have they not heard of Photoshop? I could have done it for them for $100 and thought I was well-paid for my efforts!
And how about the night on the town to go to a Broadway show and dinner for the Obamas? I wonder how much that cost, with the contingent of secret service agents that no doubt accompanied them? Or the solo shopping trip to Paris that Michelle Obama made while her husband was on a speaking tour in Europe? Could she not have hitched a ride on Air Force One instead of catching up with him later? More money wasted. The list goes on — and all the while, the American people are encouraged to trim their spending and simplify their lifestyles. The Obamas are certainly setting an excellent example, aren’t they?
I agree some changes that need to be made, but it’s not due to the structure of our government — it’s because of the abuse and twisting of the original intent of our founding fathers that has become the norm in modern times. Take “separation of church and state,” for example. The intent of the architects of this country was not to ban any mention of God in government, it was to prevent the formation of a government run by religious leaders. But today, those who wish to limit any mention of God to the four walls of a church have used that phrase in the Constitution to justify their position, and since some judges have ruled in their favor, now a precedent has been set and other cases are based on those rulings. The snowball gets bigger (and more established) as it rolls downhill.
The saying that “power corrupts” definitely comes to mind in all this. Those in power have long been known to line their own pockets and those of their cronies with the privileges that their power provides. I think this has become a “corporate culture” of greed and self-interest in Washington, DC. Their own betterment comes first, and their constituents come second (if at all). Once they’re in office, it’s a free-for-all of closed-door dealings and word games to lull the public into complacency while their country is being stolen from them, one piece at a time.
I want my America back! I used to be a patriot and could barely contain my tears when the “Star-Spangled Banner” was played before an event, because I was so proud. Now I’m extremely sad to say that I’m no longer proud to be an American. I’m ashamed of what we’ve become, just in the past six months. We’re a laughing-stock among other nations, and a beggar looking for China to buy our debt. We are bankrupt as a country, financially and morally. We have lost the world’s respect, and I fear greatly for our future as a nation. We’re eventually going to reach a tipping point (and soon, at the rate we’re going), from which there will be little chance of recovery.
God help us all…
I just took an online quiz, and apparently they’ve been looking over my shoulder, because here’s the result:
You Are a Life Blogger! |
 Your blog is the story of your life – a living diary. If it happens, you blog it. And you make it as entertaining as possible. You may be guilty of over-sharing a bit on your blog, but you can’t help it. Your life is truly an open book. Or in this case, an open blog! |
Tags: blogging
One of the biggest issues in my life these days (aside from being overweight) is my restricted mobility due to bad feet and ankles, and an aching back. Those structural impairments have caused a definite restriction on the activities I can pursue, and at 54 I don’t like being limited by what (in my mind) is an “old person’s” problem.
My feet and ankles are the most problematic. I had a very badly broken right ankle in my mid-20s, which has limited its range of motion. The foot is fine, but the ankle is very stiff. I suppose I should count myself lucky to have whatever function I do have, since it was pretty much shattered. I appreciate the skill of the surgeon who put it back together, and it hasn’t bothered me too much throughout my life, except I have to be careful where I place my foot when walking on rough terrain, so I won’t turn my ankle or fall.
My left foot is completely flat – no arch at all. It was flat from birth, as shown on my baby footprints. Even then, it was obviously different from my right foot, which showed a clear arch. My parents tried to make me wear orthopedic shoes around the age of four, but being the rebellious child I was, I often refused to wear them. I remember hiding them in the back of my closet because I hated them so much! If I had worn the shoes then, perhaps I’d be better off now.
My flat foot actually didn’t cause any major issues until I went to London in 2003. During that trip, my wallet was stolen, along with my credit card, debit card, cash and (most distressingly) my passport. This happened in the afternoon before I was to return home, and of course I couldn’t get on the plane without my passport!
After walking half a mile or so to the local police station to report the theft that afternoon, it was another long walk to the Underground station. The only thing I had left with me was my travel pass to get on the train and subway. Thank goodness – without that, I would have been stuck in central London, quite a few miles from where I was staying and with no available means (short of begging the gate-tenders on the subway to let me on the train) to get there. That was an extremely stressful and exhausting afternoon!
So the next day started early and was spent walking – from where I was staying to the Underground station, and then on to the Western Union depot to retrieve money wired to me by a friend in the US. From there to the US Embassy to get a temporary passport (which was quite a distance), where I was told that I had to get passport photos elsewhere, several blocks away. So to the photo place I went, then back to the Embassy. After finally getting my new passport, it was another long hike back to the Underground station, and finally back “home” in the early evening hours.
The tasks had taken from early that morning until about six o’clock in the evening. I figure I must have walked nearly five miles that day – and I’m not a regular walker, by any means! There were times that I just sat down on a bench along the street and cried – not because I was upset, but because my feet hurt so much. You should see my passport photo from that day – I was a red-nosed, bloodshot-eyed mess! I could hardly stop the tears long enough to take the picture.
I didn’t have arch supports in my shoes, except for what was built into them from the factory. If I had, maybe my feet would be in better shape now. I believe it was that trip that totally collapsed the arch in my left foot, because even with the custom arch supports I bought immediately after my return, it has been very painful most of the time since then.
I finally went to a podiatrist to see if there was any hope of improving the situation. He X-rayed my feet and prescribed new arch supports. He said that if those didn’t give me sufficient relief, that the next step was surgery. In looking at my X-rays, it was apparent that my foot was pronated (rolled inward) so much that one joint of my foot was almost out of its socket, and that was a big reason it was so painful. But after his description of the surgery (“we’ll cut this bone here, that bone there, and insert new bone wedges in those areas…”) I was terrified of any surgery. And what if the surgery didn’t help? I would have gone through pain and recovery for nothing – and perhaps it would even make things worse! So I wore the arch supports for two years, until I couldn’t stand it anymore and went to another podiatrist.
Sure enough, this one said I was a “hard case” and that surgery was the only choice. However, he didn’t do that extensive type of surgery, so he referred me to someone who did. I still dreaded surgery, and my online research into the procedure the first doctor recommended scared me to death – three months with no weight-bearing on the foot, and up to a year for total recovery, IF everything fused together properly. I was in quite a state of dread by the time my appointment with the second doctor arrived.
I’m so glad I got a second opinion, because this doctor wanted to avoid surgery if at all possible, and devised a plan to support my foot and ankle with braces instead. After taking new X-rays, he informed me that I had two completely different feet – on the right, my foot structure was normal, but the ankle was messed up from being broken. On the left, my ankle was fine, but the foot bones had completely collapsed. So, counting both of my legs, I had one good one.
I left his office with my left foot sporting a rigid foot and ankle brace. It made my foot feel better immediately! The brace has a pivot joint at the ankle, so it allows me to walk fairly normally. The only problem is that it’s too bulky to get my regular shoe on over it, so I’m wearing a “surgical boot” on that foot. The doctor says he may make me a thinner, custom foot and ankle brace that I can wear with a regular shoe. Hopefully, I’ll find that out later this week when I return for my next visit.
Now I’m hoping he can improve the comfort level of my other foot and ankle with a brace of some sort. Since my feet are so different, it may require a different approach to achieve good results.
I’m so tired of being limited in my mobility! I can’t go to arts festivals or museums because I’d have to park too far away, and they require walking a great deal to see everything. I avoid going to the mall, or even shopping in a big store like Walmart, for the same reason. Even when working around my tiny house, I consciously combine tasks to minimize the number of steps necessary. I think my feet being out of balance have also contributed to my lower back pain, and recently my left hip has started to hurt if I walk too much. My foundation isn’t strong, and it’s causing problems further up the line. It’s like a game of Jenga – collapse the foundation, and the whole stack comes tumbling down.
Hopefully, sufficient help is on the way, so that I can regain some of what I lost and enjoy a few of the things I’ve avoided in recent years. I swear I’ll wear braces on both feet for the rest of my life if necessary, if I can avoid that awful surgery!
